As soon as we moved out of the hotel, we packed our cruisers and said our goodbyes.
Crying was hard for me as I had made some amazing friends who were going somewhere different. Unique people who stood by me and thought friends are there to be your companions, not entertainment. Of course we made each other laugh but they were the people who chose those who were one of a kind, not just cause they made them laugh.
Those kind of friends you keep close. And I avoided saying goodbye till the end. Every time they came close, I shifted the topic or started to back away. Imagine having such great people for three months and not seeing them or talking to them frequently for another three…I know I will see them at Inter Service Training but to not see them through community entry…
Suffice to say, I cried. I cried too much.
The problem was that what are we supposed to do during community entry exactly? I was frozen. And frightened. And I won’t have my support group to help me. To aid me in my times of doubt.
But of course, they got into cruisers and I’m about to run after them… But I was strong. It’s the next step. The next movement.
A second later, I was in my cruiser driving away with the rest of my Central volunteers. We arrived at Serenje Provincial house before I knew it and after a long nap on the cruiser. Unloading the cars was difficult but helping each other was the best way to make the job easier. Then we were free.
To relax after three months. Bunk beds and open doors and internet. It’s a small America in these walls made just for volunteers.
I went to introvert mode immediately. The people are great. I just was tired. So I sat and used my computer in silence. Enjoyed the quietness in my head. We’d be here for two days and on Monday morning, we’d be out.
Those two days, I did nothing. AND I Loved it!!!
Of course, my heart was frightened of being so alone and away from what I know. What if my friends move on and leave me? Thoughts like that were compounded with anxious thoughts of inadequacy. What if I am not good enough? Who am I to tell people to change? Just a girl. A young girl. How can I change a village with just words?
But I dismissed those fears. I’ve made it this far and I figured our everything on my own. This will be no different. But of course I said this now. I’ll be lost once I’m in village of course…
The next two days were for shopping. We stayed at a lodge as we dropped off everyone. One by one and we bought paint and cement. Wire and hammers. Tools and curtains. Pots and pans. Stoves. Citenges for curtains and blankets and mattress. I was broke at the end. Completely spent my monthly salary. I am a first generation so I needed to get all new stuff like furniture. So all my money is gonna be spent on this house. But it was worth it.
In this world, I have my very own home.
Home to Mapalo.
They will all know and now you know. I own my very own house and I can’t wait to make it better and truly mine.
Shopping went by quick but it was incredibly stressful and I’m not good at money so of course I had a lot of trouble. I wish I wasn’t so frazzled but it was stressful. I got dropped first on Wednesday, September 3rd. We drove by a Twenty minutes and everything was unloaded and no one stayed to help me set up. Hugs and then I was watching the cruiser drive away. That was it. Like a bandaid being ripped apart.
Lots of sitting after that. But I went to work. Unpack. No shelves or furniture so stuff went back into bags but in order of kitchen, bathroom items, misc, and hardware.
Then my bed and mosquito net and I was done. Except there was late lunch with the family and I was alone.
It was so unbelievable that I was too shocked to be afraid or surprised. Not afraid, just wow.
Wow is All I felt for days. I’m finally here.